To Live and Die in El Valle by Oscar Mancinas

Author:Oscar Mancinas
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Arte Público Press
Published: 2020-10-14T16:00:00+00:00

Melissa Gets Out

I was convinced this couldn’t be happening, that I’d never actually get out. We sat there: not moving along with every other car in rush hour traffic. Just me and my dad in his truck with no air conditioning or a working stereo.

How did I so perfectly predict how much this would suck?

I swear it’s my only real gift: to know full-well how much I’m about to unnecessarily suffer to do a basic thing. I mean, people leave for college all the time. I see it happening in so many dumb movies and TV shows, and I read all the headlines celebrating brown kids who make it to college. But, when I try, the world goes, “Hold up, girl. Your road outta here has to be hella annoying.” The angrier I got, the less we moved. I hated everything and everyone. I hated my hometown for making getting out so hard. I hated my new college for giving me money for tuition but not plane fare. I hated how my mom had said, “Tu papá will drive you to school, Melissa, ya deja de fregar!” sentencing me to a sixteen-hour car ride with my less-than-talkative dad. Most of all, I hated myself, knowing I wouldn’t be able to hate these other things much longer.

I sighed and looked over at my dad. He seemed completely unaffected, as usual, by anything. I briefly thought about trying to make small talk, but I abandoned it just as quickly. If he and I hadn’t had anything to say to each other in eighteen years together, why act brand new? I’d spent my whole life only ever getting one-word or grunt answers to my questions. At best, he might say, “Go ask your amá,” so without her around, I knew better. Some people are talkers and some people are Mexican dads who nod and shrug their way through parenting. I didn’t hold this against him, but I didn’t totally like it either.

So instead of talking, I sank into my seat, put earbuds in, turned up my music, put my sunglasses on, closed my eyes and let my anxious energy rot into exhaustion.

When I awoke, my sunglasses made the dark blue desert and purple sky feel even darker and endless. I took them off and saw our headlights cutting through the land ahead. My music had died. Wind slashing against the truck was the only sound I heard. I stretched and yawned. Then I turned to Dad. He was just as I’d left him.

Before I could speak, he said, “We’re in Nuevo México.”

“Uhum.”

“Tu mamá called. I told her you were asleep, que todo ’stá bien.”

“Already?” I looked straight ahead, puffed my cheeks and sighed at the prospect of this new normal. “Esa mujer. She’s gotta relax. I can’t handle this kinda helicoptering for the next four years.”

“Así es tu mamá,” Dad said and cleared his throat.

A moment passed and then he spoke again. Damn. Two full sentences back to back!

“With our history here, she’s afraid of what can happen, especially when someone is far from home.

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